EMOTIONS AROUND HOLIDAY TRADITIONS: NAVIGATING JOY, STRESS, AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN

Holidays are often depicted as magical, joyful, and perfect. Family gatherings, baking, decorating, and gift-giving fill calendars and expectations. But for autistic individuals and their families, the reality can be far more complex.

Holiday traditions can evoke a wide spectrum of emotions - excitement, pride, nostalgia, and sometimes stress, anxiety, or disappointment. At ARK, we know that acknowledging these emotions is part of creating a meaningful, manageable holiday season.

Why Traditions Can Be Emotionally Complex

Even familiar traditions can stir strong feelings:

Routine changes: Altered schedules, travel, and new environments can create stress.
Sensory input: Lights, music, smells, and crowds can intensify emotional responses.
Social expectations: Greetings, gift exchanges, and performances may feel overwhelming.
Past experiences: Memories of previous holidays - good or bad - influence current emotions.
Pressure to participate: Feeling “expected” to engage in traditions can cause frustration or withdrawal.

These emotional reactions are natural and valid - they don’t mean the holidays are “bad,” only that they experience them differently.

Supporting Emotional Wellbeing During Traditions

Acknowledge feelings: Validate excitement, anxiety, frustration, or disappointment without judgment.
Set realistic expectations: Choose which traditions to participate in, skip, or modify.
Offer choices: Give them control over which activities to join and how to engage.
Create calming strategies: Quiet breaks, sensory tools, or familiar objects can help manage overwhelm.
Plan ahead: Preview schedules, activities, and environments to reduce surprises.

Embracing Positive Emotions

Holiday traditions can also bring joy, pride, and connection:

Celebrate small wins: Participating in even one activity, helping with decorations, or opening a gift counts.
Highlight special moments: Baking cookies, building a snow fort, or watching lights together can create lasting memories.
Encourage shared experiences: Positive social connections, even in small doses, strengthen bonds.
Create new traditions: Tailor activities to your family’s needs and their comfort level.

Balancing Emotions

Holidays are rarely perfect - they’re a mix of excitement, stress, comfort, and unpredictability. For autistic people, emotions may feel stronger, last longer, or change quickly. That’s okay.

Success isn’t measured by perfect participation or smiles for the camera. It’s measured by safety, comfort, joy, and connection - however small or unconventional those moments may seem.

Holiday Traditions Don’t Have To Be Stressful To Be Meaningful

By acknowledging emotions, offering choice, and prioritizing comfort, families can create a holiday season that feels authentic, joyful, and manageable for everyone.

The holidays are about connection, understanding, and inclusion - not about perfection. By honoring the emotional reality of autistic people, traditions become less about compliance and more about shared celebration.

Why Holiday Traditions Can Be Hard for Autistic People