CHRISTMAS DINNER: FINDING COMFORT AT A TABLE FULL OF TRADITIONS

Christmas dinner is supposed to be one of those Norman Rockwell moments - a glowing table, a perfectly carved turkey, matching napkins that no one is allowed to actually use.

But for many autistic people, Christmas dinner can feel like a sensory obstacle course disguised as a family tradition.

Smells.

Textures.

Noise.

Unexpected questions from relatives.

Foods that touch each other (the horror).

And a room full of social expectations.

If your Christmas dinner looks a little different - quieter, simpler, or more flexible - you are very much not alone.

The Sensory Avalanche

Holiday meals come with a lot of sensory input:

Strong smells from foods, candles, spices
Different textures, temperatures, and flavours
People talking at the same time
Clinking dishes
Bright lights or buzzing décor
Being expected to sit still for longer than usual

For some autistic people, this is like being asked to do a Sudoku puzzle while fireworks go off in the living room.

If your child prefers their usual “safe foods” instead of the holiday feast, it’s not picky eating. It’s self-regulation.

Yes, It’s Okay if They Eat Something Different

Let’s say this clearly, loudly, and with zero apology:

Your child does not have to eat Christmas dinner.

If they’d prefer:

Chicken nuggets
Plain noodles
Toast
A specific brand of yogurt
A plate with nothing touching

…that’s okay.

Meeting someone’s sensory needs is not “giving in.” It’s giving them dignity.

You’re not failing at the holidays if your kid’s plate looks different from everyone else’s.

The Social Side of the Table

For some autistic people, the food isn’t the hard part - it’s the people.

Holiday dinners often come with:

Eye contact expectations
Small talk
“How’s school?” interrogations
Pressure to sit at the table longer than is comfortable
Noise from every direction

It’s okay to give your child breaks during the meal. A quiet room, a favourite show, a calming toy - these are all tools, not crutches.

And if a relative says, “When I was a kid, we didn’t leave the table until everyone finished,” you are fully allowed to smile politely and ignore them.

Strategies That Make Dinner Easier

A few small adjustments can completely change the experience:

Offer familiar foods alongside holiday foods.
Create a “quiet corner” or safe space nearby.
Keep the seating flexible - not everyone has to sit at the big table.
Let them eat before, during, or after the main meal.
Explain expectations gently and skip the ones that don’t matter.
Prep extended family so they understand your family’s needs.

And yes, screen time is allowed. It’s Christmas, not boot camp.

New Traditions Are Still Traditions

Many families find that once they let go of the pressure to recreate the “classic” Christmas dinner, something better emerges - a meal that actually fits them, their sensory needs, and the way their family works.

Maybe your holiday dinner happens at 2 p.m. instead of 6.

Maybe you eat pizza in pajamas.

Maybe you do a “build-your-own-plate” meal.

Maybe they eat their safe food while you enjoy turkey and stuffing.

All of these count. All of these are real traditions.

Joy Doesn’t Have to Look Like a Holiday Commercial

Christmas dinner doesn’t have to be fancy, stressful, or perfect.

It just has to feel good - or at least manageable - for the people around your table.

A peaceful meal is far more important than a traditional one.

So if your family celebrates with chicken nuggets, low lighting, a favourite show playing in the background, and the freedom to step away from the table when needed… congratulations. You’re doing Christmas exactly right.

Preparing for Holiday Dinner with Autism